My Loneliness

Have you experienced loneliness? It’s very difficult to be alone, I was facing the same problem in my college days, which was bit interesting. read it...and enjoy.

It was the month of February, when the sun is in his younger appearance, the rays of the sun is quite bitterer. I have remember on that day I have a Political Science class at 3:00 pm, but I was busy in my part time job and guessed that I will not be able to reach at time for the class, but I never want to disappear from that class. You know why.

I had only my job early but some finish work has been pending. But I have no concentration on the job because it’s already 2:45 pm so I get left from there and came to college in 3:15 pm with my bicycle. The college premises looks like a lonely space, I only saw some students with their girlfriend (as I am not sure, but how you will take, when you saw a girl and a boy talking in the lost world, where nobody present) who are talking outside from the college.

I entered the college gate and go to cycle stand to keep my bicycle, I saw the stand rows have no bicycle, but my bicycle filled the gap. As I was late for the class, I stand my cycle without notice anything and reach at class after running a few seconds from the cycle stand.

I found the crowd in the class. Thank God, the teacher is not came yet for taking the class, I entered the college and stuck to my seat and give an eye to the entire class, the class have less students than any others day, firstly I can’t remember that it’s was Saturday.

She sat beside my seat. It was a good chance / time for me to talk with her, but second minutes passed, I thought, what will I ask her? Then I came to the final decision that I will ask her name, because I don’t know her name yet in my two months college period, I thought. I go to proceed about what I thought few minutes ago, but at the same time teacher has been entered the class and I became motionless on my seat.

The class get dissolved early after attendance because the lack presence of students and afterall its 3:40 pm. I came outside from the class, and looking very tired, not because for that I came through cycle in sunny day, it’s the condition of loneliness. I feel myself very alone. She crossed me near notice board on the way of verandah to exit door of college. I looked her once and want to talk with her, but she have with their friends. I can’t talk with her.

I came to the cycle stand again, I saw my cycle which is laying alone in the very large area. I thought what a luck, the bicycle have same condition as me, I unlocked my bicycle and took it from the stand and left the college.

She was on my dream - I was writing a romantic love letter

I was much curious and excited to study in college and my dream became true after confirmation of my admission in first year and attended my first class in college premises. It was so excited and charmed (this excitement was not real for study but attraction of the girls in the college, and not only me, many students of my age go to the college for the same excitement, where I came to know the real fact about college) and the excitement became doubled when I saw that very cute looking girl.

I became so thoughtful about that girl who came very often in my dreams; (in my dreams I was writing a love letter to her and there are more pages laying on the surface because lack of writing knowledge about love letters) I was pleased to think about, that I was going to make a girlfriend; I mean I will have also a girlfriend like other have. (But it’s in my dream). I always think about myself that I am different from others, but when I am in dreamt I couldn’t think so, as because like me others are thinking too in this way. So I get wrong in this fact and find myself in the same category with guys.

But it’s true that I felt something…something, that is why I reached timely in college for one month regularly, also at that time period I forgotten many times about my part time job which I was doing at that time. Now you might guess right here that, I were busy to gather the information regarding the girl and planning to purpose her. But it’s wrong.

How could I think so? I had previously told you that I am shy and I never talked to any girl before. I knew that it’s a vital problem for many like us, who like someone but couldn’t speak about this romance heart feeling truth and romantic ideas. I was one of them. But before I proceed to talk, I want to know her properly. On first day when she was standing at the bus stand, I supposed that she could live around my surrounding place, I was not well known about the bus routes but aware about that route which goes to my house, as because I saw her on that route for waiting for bus. So I thought she was live nearby my bus route. I was right on my first day, because she was also don’t aware about the bus route and accidentally she was on the wrong bus for her home.

After first day of college, I travel through the bus to the college way, because I thought that she was too came in the same bus and I could be able to see her again. But I never find her n the same bus. After few days in college, I came to know that we have only two subjects were common, they were Political Science and other was Compulsory English. As because I never find her in another classes which I attended. Also I came to know about that she live in B-Zone (a place in Durgapur township) because I saw she taken the opposite bus route after her first day, where the buses are goes to the B-zone bound instead of my home route.

I saw her at front of notice board

I learnt that how to continue your own task timely or how to use time management for preparation or balance the equality between job and study. I also remembered my first day when I entered the college at 11:30 am and I have to wait for another 1 hour for my next class. And that is where I seen that beautiful face in front of notice board where she note down the timing for classes or routine in a separate paper on her hand. I also reach at the front of notice board to see what is going there, because there were more students standing in front of notice board. I reach at the notice board by passing other students. But before copy the routine into my exercise book, I saw her first time in a short distance. I looked at her eyes, she also looked at me but after 5 seconds she removed from there and I got attention to the notice board.

I never attracted to a woman before also I am bit shy about this matter. I don’t like to engage myself into in any relationship, but I want, but not able to do it anyway. I don’t know why? May be the first cause for it that I don’t like to talk rubbish with people without having any meaning of what they are talking about. I got it after thinking and motivating me about this relationship matter. But actually I don’t know why I am too unaware about this relationship matter?

I get through the routine, from where I understand that I have missed my first class, not remember but it was compulsory English class. Anyway I have another class of Political Science in 12:15 pm. I have prepared for the next class.

I got extremely happy when I saw her again sitting beside one bench (seat) from me. The class has been started and one madam taken that class of Political Science. This is my first experience of my first class in college life. The class ended at 1 pm. I left the classroom, and again watched the routine which shows me that I have another class of Economics at 3:30 pm, that means I have to wait another two and half hour, it was very difficult for me, because I have no patient.

So I left the college and get out from the front gate of college where I saw her again in the Bus stand waiting for the bus. I left the college from my bicycle.

Hope you will enjoy this…. I will be back again…..happy reading.